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Scientology -- Part Four

My Ten Years (give or take) In Scientology, Part Four

 

By Jerry E. Smith

 

  

HOW I MET MY EX-WIFE

 

 

A couple of years after I had been traded to The Manor, a girl... Sherry... started working in the dining room. She was about two inches taller than me, and about five years younger. She was a strange girl and had a real attitude problem. She seemed to be really messed up... she looked incredibly unhappy and spun around, like she'd had a really rough life, and was mad at everybody about it.

 

Yet there was something about her... maybe it was just that she was a girl...

 

In the SO the official policy for staff sexual relations was no contact what-so-ever with public persons, or non-SO staff, and then sexual intercourse only after marriage, and marriage only to fellow SO members.

 

After almost three years in the SO, three years of not even being kissed, I have to tell you I was horny.

 

(Males out number females in the SO about 30 to 1 in general, and at the Manor there were only two women and both were married and over fifty!) I had tried dating a couple of the GO girls, but nothing really came of it. My previous sexual experience had been the easy promiscuity of sf fandom, so I had never really learned how to "date" because it had never really been all that necessary.

 

Scn apparently had once been rather loose, but by the late '70s the general attitude, at least were I was, was disgustingly Victorian, and this was, for me, one hell of a ball busting cold turkey into celibacy.

 

I married the first girl I could get my hands on. Which was this weird new girl, Sherry.

 

I invited her to attend Poetry by Candlelight with me. I think she swooned over me that night. We attended together again the following week and that night she went "home" with me, to my little room in the basement.

 

After that first night of her coming "home" with me, every time she got off post she would climb in bed with me. This was the first time in my life I was actually getting laid every day.

 

After about a week of this she said "marry me or I'll never talk to you again!" What would you do?

 

Sherry and I had only known each other for about 17 days when we got married!

 

Well, about two weeks later I came to my senses and realized I had made yet another Big Mistake, and tried to get out of the marriage, but she had fallen in love with me by then. At one point she told me that I was better than any man she had ever hoped to marry. She sued me in Chaplains Court. The Chaplain order us to stay together for six months, if either of us wanted out after that he would grant an annulment. To stick out the six months I came up with this tortured logic that since I had made her fall in love with me then I had to take responsibility for it, and since I had married her... well, maybe I'll grow to love her...

 

BACK TO KLAMATH FALLS, AGAIN

 

 

Working all day and much of the night, 10-12 hour shifts were standard, six (and sometimes seven) days a week, made neither of us terrifically sane, or physically well. I don't remember much of this, but it seems like it was four months after the Chaplain ordered us to stay together that she announced that she was pregnant – and seriously physically un-well. She had used the six months the Chaplain gave us to get pregnant (so she would have a child and with that force me to stay with her). As soon as she was "safely" pregnant she revealed that she hated sex from having been sexually abused by her step-father and that I would never touch her again! She kept that promise. Later I discovered that this "abuse" stemmed from her moving in with him and using sex with him to pay her share of the rent – a pattern that remained after we split up, resulting in her second child, Shane. As best anyone who knows her can tell she has not had sex since Shane’s father (who to this day doesn’t know that he has a son!) knocked her up.

 

The Manor at that time had nobody posted who had anything to do with staff welfare, which is located on the org board in Qual. There was no Medical Officer [MO], nor any of the per org board superiors to an MO; no Staff Section Officer [SSO], no Qualifications Divisional Secretary [Qual Sec]. And there was no money in the MO float fund to handle a difficult pregnancy.

 

To save her life we were forced off staff.

 

But in the SO one does not leave staff easily. Remember that Billion Year Contract! There is such a thing as a Leave of Absence, but they refused to grant us one; or rather two, because I would have to leave staff too to work to raise the money needed for living in L. A., much less the cost of having a kid. With only about a dozen people to run the Hotel there was no way they thought they could spare even one of us, much less both. There was no MO to say she was sick, there was no MO float to use to go to a real doctor for him to say she was sick. So we had to take the Midnight Express...

 

One night in 1979, at about 4 AM we snuck out a back door. She caught a city bus to my parents’ house in Pomona, about 40 miles away. I rode my bicycle to K Falls! Or tried to anyway. I only made it as far as Lompoc, California, before an accident ruined my bicycle.

 

From there I called Jim Keith, still in Klamath. He bought me a bus ticket to join him. At that time he owned a used record store, called Recycled Records. {You have no idea how many people came in and said, "Recycled, huh? Whadayado? Melt 'em down?"}

 

Prior to our "blow" I owned a very large record collection and I used that to buy a share of his store, shipping them to him prior to our departure.

 

In terms of her pregnancy we apparently got to K Falls just in time.

 

She was very ill and without medical attention she would very probably have died during labor, we were told. But that too is another story. We had a wonderful, beautiful boy, William Elwood (Willy), that I am crazy about.

 

Being a record store owner was fun, but paid too little to support a family. So after about seven months of that I left Recycled Records to help another friend, Bill, get his building contractor business off the ground.

 

That didn't work out any better. I made about the same financially with him as I had with Jim Keith in the record store, and was working a hell of a lot harder to boot.

 

But I was still a "true believer."

 

How? Well, I was pretty well brainwashed. I still believed that if this stuff were true it was the hottest thing to hit the planet since fire. And I still didn't know if it was true. But the little of it I had been exposed to seemed to be true.

 

I am sure that in part I believed because I believed, that after investing this much time and energy into it I had to believe in it or I was really a chump. And what I had read seemed to be so right, to make so much sense (the part I understood), and the auditing that I had... well, I was convinced that I had gotten gains out of it.

 

Today, however, I am equally convinced that I never got any gains out of it – oddly enough Scientology would agree completely, only they would claim that being a No Gain Case is proof that I am a Suppressive Person! Today, I think I was only hypnotized into thinking that I got gains: I am just about as hung up, have the same pains and disabilities that I had went I got into Scn. Net gain, apparently zero.

 

Jim Keith, and the contractor, Bill, and my wife Sherry, Willy, our baby, and I, all shared a house in Klamath, which we called "The Oregon State Home For The Mentally Bewildered." We all thought this was a very funny joke, but looking back I don't think any of us got it.

 

Jim Keith got Bill into Scn and he became very enthusiastic, as most folks new to the subject do. Bill wanted to get services, but the closest org was Portland [PDX] (about 290 miles) or SFO (about 350 miles).

 

As blown SO members neither Sherry nor I were eligible for further Scn services until we had paid off our freeloader [FL] debt!

 

When you blow an org, or otherwise leave staff with an unfulfilled contract, the org adds up all services you received while on staff (which is almost entirely staff training courses and auditing designed to handle one's upsets with being on staff or required sec-checks). We both owed thousands of dollars and had no hope of ever paying it off, much less buying our future services. Neither of us knew squat about making Big Bucks and we had nothing to mortgage, and no rich relatives to tap.

 

Jim Keith was an active Scnist but he had as little money as us.

 

One way to earn services is to act as a Field Staff Member [FSM]. An FSM gets people interested and active in Scn and into an org and "on lines" (referring to the flow lines through an org mapped out by the ubiquitous routing forms [RFs]). For doing this the FSM receives, in credit on his account with the org or in cash, 10% of everything his "selectees" pay. Jim Keith had decided to go the FSM route to getting his "Bridge."

 

Another way to make money and earn your "Bridge" is to run a local "gung ho" group or purchase franchise rights and set up a local msn. Msns are usually just a handful of people, usually not very well trained, say one or two auditors, and a case supervisor [CS] and a few others to run mostly Intro courses, and sell LRH books to all and sundry.

 

But that is not always so. There have been a few missions that have been astronomically successful. (And, it would seem, that if the franchise holder, or mission holder, should become too successful he could be wiped out by the SO. See L. Ron Hubbard, Messiah or Madman by Bent Corydon, a very successful mission holder who was so wiped out (min-review below)).

 

Knowing none of this we decided to open a msn in K Falls and Sherry and the baby and I went down to L. A. to try to recruit some Scnists to move up to K Falls.

 

Instead we both got re-recruited, to ASHO F! Am I good at dumb moves, or what?

 

ASHO F, THE SECOND TIME

 

 

We hitch hiked with the baby back down to L. A. and moved in with my parents. That was rough. The baby was just toddling and they had two dogs that scared him silly. And we very quickly ran out of money. I got a job in one of the hundreds of business in the L. A. area run by Scnists. They were crazy and the business was all messed up.

 

Scnists have Big Problems in the real world. Scn processing convinces one that one is ready and able to turn the world on its ear. Which isn't bad of itself, but these poor fools come out convinced that that know better (because they've read a few of Ron's PLs, some of Ron's books and have been audited into a Super Human state) and promptly go appetite over tin cup, as Hubbard says.

 

I have met dozens of Scnists who were convinced that they were Great Writers because they had been "released" of their hang ups about writing and would soon be changing the world with their magnificent works. Quite frankly I have read several of these literary gems and they are total Crap (indeed, most of what I have read by Scnist has been hopelessly unpublishable drivel (a judgment I feel qualified to make as I am published author)).

 

I have met few, if any, Scnists who could not do something, like, say sing, before Scn and afterward were suddenly major lights in that field.

 

But I didn't know that then. This business I went to work for was an instant print shop run by people who had no previous experience with printing, or with running a business. The place was totally disorganized and loosing money had over foot. But the owner and manager were both OTs so it had to work!

 

A few weeks of this nonsense and I was ready to get back into the relative sanity of a real org. I went back to ASHO F in its new home in The Complex.

 

I agreed to return to SO staff as long as I had a guarantee that I would not be posted in the galley! I guess it worked because I got posted in the Tech Div [Div 4], in the Hubbard Guidance Center [HGC] (where the auditing of paying PCs and pre-OTs takes place), and so did Sherry.

 

I became a HGC Folder Page, running PC folders in and out of CS's offices and the Director of Processing [Dir Proc, or D of P]'s office, and various folder storage areas. She became a page to a CS. In Scn auditing every word you say (or as many as the auditor can write down) is recorded during the session with time and meter reads noted. It is from these written session records, called auditor's reports, that the CSs determine what to do with the case. These records are stored forever, even after a scnist dies (so he/she can be audited in the next life--not "afterlife" as in being a ghost, but in their next incarnation).

 

By the time Sherry and I returned to L. A., mission 1674 had completed its work. ASHO F had moved to where it is now in the old Cedars of Sinai Hospital complex in downtown Hollywood. The Complex, as it is called, covers over 11 acres and 8 major buildings. It is between Sunset and Fountain just off Vermont, and is painted a weird sky blue. The street in front of ASHO had been Berendo Way, now it is L. Ron Hubbard Way.

 

Located in The Complex, as well as the two ASHOs (Day and Fdn), is the Continental Class IV Org of Los Angeles [LA Day, and LA Fdn], Bridge Publications, Inc., AOLA, and a number of management orgs and special function Bureaus impossible to keep track of.

 

The Manor building had been taken over, mostly by Celebrity Centre International [CC Int] (CCLA had become the flagship of its own CC network and had been "upgraded" to CC Int). The Manor hotel had been literally kicked upstairs into the space previously occupied by the GO.

 

The AO that had been next to it was moved into The Complex and its building became a day care center for SO staff's children called the Cadet Org. That is where my son ended up.

 

We were rather impressed with the complex. It was decorated inside with some nice graphics and all the public spaces were clean and fresh and it all seemed rather well done.



My son Willy and I in the lobby of the Hollywood Inn (HI), on Hollywood Blvd. (next to the Egyptian Theater) in Hollywood, California, during the winter of 1981-82. Willy had just turned two and I was 31.

 

Of course there were drawbacks. Sherry and the baby and I were living at the HI and commuting to ASHO each day, which was a bit of a pain. The biggest pain for me was the elevators at ASHO were non-operational. I was forced to carry 50 and 60 pound stacks of PC folders up from the archive in the second sub-basement up to the HGC on the third floor, some 99 steps (I counted 'em one day).

 

Strange mental things happened at ASHO F too. One day I was holding the reception desk in the HGC. This guy came up and it was real weird in that, I could hardly see what he looked like. Layered over him, like a full life sized photograph printed on clear plastic, I could see clearly the image of one of our auditors, Scott Gunn. This guy was looking all around like he was looking for someone. I said to this guy, "Can I help you?." He said, "I'm looking for someone. Do you know Scott Gunn?" This guy had been concentrating on Gunn so hard I had seen the mental image nearly as clearly as his body with my own eyes. I was unquestionably reading his mind.

 

A similar event occurred a few weeks later. The Internship Supervisor [Interne Sup] was an unpublished writer and he had written a (rather good) sci-fi story (before he got into Scn) and he wanted me to read it. One day, as I was walking past his crs room he was standing outside the door. He saw me and without saying a word gestured for me to wait a moment. He turned and stepped into his crs room. A phrase came into my mind, and not thinking anything of it I just said it, the title of a Bob Dylan song, "Murders on Rue Morgue Avenue." I followed the interne sup to his desk were he pulled out a manila envelope with his story in it. Written across the envelope was the title of the piece, "Murders on Planet Tormentoo"! I had read his mind, but my not understanding "Tormentoo" had turned it something I was familiar with!

 

After six months or so I got promoted up the HGC Administrator [HGC Admin] (when the head of the division, the Tech Sec, blew and everybody under him got moved up; the Director of Processing [D of P] became the new Tech Sec, the head of the Department of Technical Services [Tech Services] (the Director of Technical Services [DTS]) was moved over to be the D of P, the HGC Admin became the DTS, and I became the HGC Admin). My duties included ensuring all of the stats were kept up and that the auditors in the HGC had every thing they needed and on the rare occasions that there were Tech Pages I had juniors to boss about.

 

Meanwhile, Sherry and I had started to break up. The only time we talked was to argue. After a year of it we were hardly ever together. I had started sleeping in the HGC several nights a week, and hardly ever took the time to take my one hour of "family time" a day to see my boy. It was not good for either he or I. I am really upset about it now, as I lost a big piece of my boy's childhood.

 

Why? Stats. Statistics. In Scn stats are God. It began, perhaps, as a bright idea. In the Navy Hubbard had a rather checkered career. As you may know, in the military, one is periodically "evaluated" by ones superiors. Hubbard apparently only got bad evals, and bore a lot of bitterness over this. He proposed a system where staff would be evaluated strictly on their actually worth, their actual production verified by stats, and nothing else. The ethics section of the org is Dept. 3, The Department of Inspections and Reports [I & R]. I & R's job is to ensure that every staff member has a statistic that measures his actual production, that his stat is accurate and properly posted and reported.

 

Scn staffers are paid – or not! – rewarded or punished on the basis of their stats. If you stat goes down, woe to you, as you can be deigned "liberty" (day off), pay docked or withheld, and deigned training or processing. If it goes down a lot, or continues down over a period of time you can be removed from post. Of course, in theory, if it goes up you should be rewarded with bonuses, and so on. But it seldom happens. If the whole org's stat (which is Gross Income [GI]) is down you can be forced to eat beans and rice two meals a day. In the three years I was at ASHO F in the HGC, we had full food allocation less than six months! Let me explain about this "beans and rice"; these were not tastefully prepared bean and rice dishes, these were plain ugly pots of rinsed and cooked beans and steamed brown rice. No spices, no culinary arts at all; just plain, simple, ugly, brownish gray beans and over cooked rice – day after day, week after week, month after month… It was never intended as "food," this was punishment. They were meant to be unpleasant to "encourage" you to get your stat (the org's stat that is, Gross Income) back up. When we did have full allocation it never lasted more than a few weeks at any one time.

 

I, like everyone else there, was working flat out to get my stat up, and annoyances, like children, families, and sleeping were just that.

 

Scn says it wants to Clear the Planet, and will show you an impressive array of stats to prove that they are doing it. Some of these stats, according to a Scn publication (Internationally, for the decade 1979-89 (in U S dollars)):

 

Total Number of Scientology Missions: 260

 

Total Number of Scientology Organizations: 159

 

Value of Gross book sales: $346 Million

 

Number of New Names to Central Files: 4,000,000

 

Number of Persons started on a Paid Service: 2,400,000

 

Number of Well Done Auditing Hours: 10 Million

 

Value of Dn and Scn Services Delivered: 1.1 Billion

 

Number of New OT VII Completions: 1,441

 

Number of New OT VIII Completions: 801

 

In that ten year period Scn "delivered" over One Billion dollars worth of "services" (training and processing, mostly) and sold almost 400 million dollars worth of books. These guys certainly don't sound like they are hurting for cash, but where does it go? The staff live worse than peasants, the "services" and books sold are all way over inflated -- a crs that might cost the org $100 to deliver is priced at $1,000, a book that costs less than $5 to print is sold for $100!

 

And I know that these stats are inflated too.

 

I once overheard how Bridge Publications, Inc. keeps D:MSMH on the best seller list, and Battlefield Earth too. If either book was not selling particularly well in a given area, BPI sent an order to the local Scn org to have some staff or students go into the B. Dalton's or Walden's and buy copies. They then shipped the copies back to BPI who in turn shipped them back to their distributors who in turn restocked it in the B. Dalton's! Why would they do this, when it certainly would lose a lot of money? Primarily because they know that people are sheep and "best sellers" are best sellers because people have heard about them as best sellers and felt compelled to read them; and Scn wants, at all costs, for people to read Hubbard’s books. As Hubbard said "books are the first line of dissemination." The primary route into Scn is: a person buys a book, reads it, gets interested, comes in. BPI might lose $5 on a paperback D:MSMH this way but Scn will make thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of dollars on this "book buyer" over the years. Hell, that's how Jim Keith and I got in!

 

With sales directly to the Scn orgs it gets even wilder. Since book buyers make up a big percentage of new starts, BPI insures books get sold, or that they, at least, get their stat up. It's called a "cat handling" (cat for catastrophe). When BPI thinks an org doesn't have enough books on stock, or has not been ordering "enough" recently, they will invoke a "cat handling" and go directly into the bank account of the org, and take out what they want and ship that many books, without asking the org word one about it! More than once while I was there ASHO F could not make some vital payment (like food for the staff or child care payments to the Cadet Org) because BPI had helped itself to ASHO funds.

 

Each year on Ron's Birthday the highest stat producers are rewarded with special plaques and Certificates and such. I used to do the calligraphy on many of these. One year the highest stats for any SO Division Six (Public Division) went to ASHO F. At ASHO, the Public Div is actually divided up into three full Divisions, Divs 6A, 6B, & 6C. The Public Executive Secretary [Public Exec Sec or PES] was a guy named Jim Frankel. He was, shall we say, rather creative in how he got his stats reported. All three of his Div 6 Div's won First Place as the best (highest stats) Div 6's in the SO. Only, in two of the three there was no one posted! Empty, nobody home!

 

The main point I want to make about stats is: while Scn claims its goal is to "Clear the Planet" they don't even keep a stat of how many Clears there are, but they boast of every penny made!

 

I cannot prove this, but I believe that Scn no longer keeps a stat of new clears is because... A few years back Hubbard released a bulletin proclaiming that a tiny percentage of the Beings in this Universe were Naturally Clear, that is, had never mocked-up [created for themselves] a bank [reactive memory bank, see D:MSMH for details, this is the non-analytical or stimulus response mind, the so-called sub-conscious, this is were all neurosis’s, psychosis’s, and insanities are to be found.]. Immediately, hundreds of Scnists "attested" [stated in Qual before an Examiner] to be "Natural Clears." Before this bulletin was released there were approximately 7,000 Clears, and within a month there were 22,000! Well, over the years after this a great number of these people were reevaluated as not being clear. Then they had to do a special auditing action to determine if there were or not. This action, as mentioned above was called the DCSI and later the Clear Certainty Rundown ($2,800 for 5 hours). Things got awfully muddled and I believe that they lost track of just how many folks they had deemed to be Clear.

 

Also, today the money is in making OTs not Clears and the orgs are now pushing "Go OT" with achieving "Clearing" as just one of the many benefits to be gained along the way.

 

ASHO F's per policy Purpose is "To help Ron Clear Los Angeles," yet not one stat of anyone in the org has anything to do with that, except indirectly. The crew never knew (and often asked) if they were making any headway in clearing L. A.

 

Why? The principle stat of an org, the one management judges the org, and it's ED or CO, by is Gross Income. Nothing else, just GI.

 

Now you tell me what that means.

 

If Scn really were concerned about Clearning The Planet, would they really charge $7,000 for 12 hours of counseling? I don't think so.

 

About the same time as I became HGC Admin things "up lines" (command channels above you, i.e. the Flag management orgs) got really weird. As I mentioned above Bill Franks got "busted" for Crimes and Treasons against Scn. Lots of folks were! It was a huge shake up. The entire upper level structure changed and hundreds of veteran SO members were either expelled from the church (the Scn version of ex-communication is an SP [Suppressive Person] declare, in which the person in question is labeled an SP (an anti-social personality) and is expelled from Scn forever. Over a period of a year or two the Scn management structure was completely changed with a whole new crowd of people taking control. This was date coincident with the loss of the Scn 7 trail and LRH's deciding that things were getting too hot for him and ducking out {see Barefaced Messiah for details}.

 

Some of you may have heard of "Fair Game." In the 1960s Ron established Policy that anyone Declared to be an SP was "Fair Game" and could be dealt with in ANY WAY by Scn. Ruining their lives, wrecking their marriages, destroying their businesses, or even shooting them, was "okay," at least as Scientology Ethic and Justice were concerned. Needless to say, such a policy raised a bit of controversy in the Real World and Hubbard was forced to "cancel" the policy. But he really only cancelled the policy letter in which the "fair game" policy was released. The attitude of the Church has been, unofficially, unchanged since. Of course, they would never admit to this, officially, they are all Little Angels.

 

The stories of what was going on up lines were wild and hard to believe, as I mentioned above. And closer to home strange things were happening too.

 

In Dianetics: Modern Science of Mental Health, and other early material, Hubbard argues against Dianeticists needing to be licensed by the state (such as doctors and lawyers are) because auditing is just being a good listener, and every housewife listening to her neighbor's troubles would have to licensed if you were to press the point. In 1982 the Church reversed itself on this "age old" policy and insisted that every auditor should be licensed to ensure Standard Tech, and since the government has failed to set out a licensing board they'll just have to do it themselves. They (upper management) called a meeting of every auditor in Los Angles. Must have been a good thousand people at the meeting. The Church announced the "good news" that all Scn PCs would be guaranteed absolutely Standard Tech in the field as well as in the orgs. How? You are all going to join an enforced association, IHELP, which will have the sole power of validating and enforcing your certificates [certs]. Anyone not joining IHELP will have their certs suspended until they have joined. Anyone attempting to audit with out being a member will be prosecuted to the full extent of the Scn justice system. Membership was $100 (or more). Payable on your way out!

 

It was almost a riot! The CMO and other exec level personnel were there in force in full dress uniforms and acting real fascist.

 

It got worse. I saw, and put up with lots of bull shit [BS] in the SO, but what really convinced me that upper management were fascists was...

 

In late 1982 or early 1983, while the last shoes were still falling from this major upheaval in the upper level ranks, an "advice letter" came down from Hubbard expressing that he was unhappy with a problem at Flag. He thought that the morale problem at Flag stemmed from the crew not interacting with each other, but from their spending their off hours setting in front of TV sets. {!!!} He further denounced TVs as dangerous radiation emitting devices that "restimulate" one to various evil uses of radiation and TVs on the Whole Track.

 

Within days of his writing that letter, the CMO went through all public and private areas confiscating all TV sets! In a single day they stole several hundred personal, privately owned TVs out of crew bedrooms and locked them up!

 

A few months later he set a similar letter denouncing perfume as having been used on the Whole Track as a control mechanism. The CMO dutifully confiscated all the perfume and cologne owned by SO men and women!

 

Never was this discussed with the crew. No crew member was ever given an option. They simply came in to your berthing space (while you were away at your post) and took your stuff!

 

I was outraged, but kept silent.

 

This seems to be as good a place as any to mention my Real Fear for the Future and Scientology.

 

Scientology is convinced that it is the Only Truth that will Set Man Free. A Scnist is expected to be a Zealot for "the Tech." Scnists are constantly harangued to be "Keeping Scientology Working" by "ruthlessly" stamping out "other" and "incorrect" "technologies."

 

When you combine a belief in your side being the only right one, with a fanatical despotism, you get The Spanish Inquisition.

 

Scn is another Inquisition waiting to happen. These guys are SERIOUS. They really to want to destroy anything that stands in the way of Scn, and to destroy anyone who opposes them.

 

A classic example is Paulette Cooper {see mini-review of her book The Scandal of Scientology below}. They sued her, harassed her, even had a Scnist pretend to be her friend so he could report on her to Church officials. They did everything to ruin her life that they could get away with. If they had been big enough then to get around a murder rap, they surely would have killed her. If we allow Scn to grow unchecked, it will someday re-invent the mass murder of heretics.

 

I saw this, was dimly aware of how bad it could get even then while on staff, but, well hell, we're the Good Guys, right? And besides I was back to my usual state of mind when on staff, messed up and spun in and misemotional all the time, too oppressed by the press of minute to minute living to give a damn about anything other than myself (and getting my stat up).

 

In time I was promoted to the head of the department, Director of Technical Services [DTS] (after the posted DTS blew). Per the org board my dept. should have about 200 staff. Most of the time it was just me!

 

About that time they released OT Preps. With all the shit hitting the fan about false attests and criminals and "plants" attesting to OT levels they decided to make a major, heavy duty sec-check required before allowing anyone else onto the OT levels. ASHO became a major delivery center for these "confessional" programs that they called OT Preps.

 

By this time Sherry and I were completely separated. She was back working at the Manor (!) and the baby, now a pre-schooler was living with her. I was living in a dorm in The Complex and had Willy stay with me one night a week. I think it was probably hell for him.

 

But being DTS was easy compared to being the Director of Processing. The D of P is responsible for several of the org's primary stats and income lines. It is a heavy pressure job with max stress. My personal universe went to hell when I got made the D of P.

For the end of my career as a Scientologist, and reviews of anti-Scientology books like Russell Miller's Barefaced Messiah: The True Story of L. Ron Hubbard, go to the next page... http://www.jerryesmith.com/index.php/153

 


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